How To Break Up With a Psycho

The average male will have to deal with at least one psycho girlfriend in his lifetime… if your lucky.  Depends on how good you get at screening things like this.  However, no matter how good you think you are at screening women, one will always slip through the cracks.  Please believe that I’ve been fooled before as well as a very good friend of mine.  I was lucky… even though I had to get a new apartment in the process.  A buddy of mine wasn’t so lucky… this brother says he still gets crank calls almost 10 years later!

What exactly qualifies as a psycho?  Unusual behavoir such as snooping, crank calls, temper tantrums for no reason, and showing up at your place unannounced are clues that you just may be dealing with a psycho.  Read on as we give you the lowdown on how to get out without being John Bobbitted:

1.  Stop logging onto E-mail accounts on her computer
If things are rocky, you should’nt be using her computer for anything bruh.  If you have been doing so already, change all passwords pronto.

2.  Don’t wait til it’s all over to get personal items.
Start getting personal items back from her place before dropping the boom.  If you live with her, you may actually have to consider renting a new apartment before springing your bad news on her.  My frat brother once rented a new apartment and bought all new furniture before bouncing on out of a relationship.  Yeah, it was that serious…

3.  Break up in a public place
Of course she will be devastated; especially if she didn’t see this coming.  The first thing she will try to do is get you back into bed, but don’t fall for it dawg.  Drop the news over dinner or at a coffee house.  Plus, this was she has a lesser chance of going off on you in public.

4.  Bring her items to the breakup
She will text and call you to no end about a .99 toothbrush just to have a chance to come over.  If you have all her bags safely stowed in the trunk of your car, you can give these to her after your breakup dinner.  No excuses on coming over again.

5.  Change your routine up… or better yet, don’t have a routine!
A good psycho will know your daily routine better than you do.  She knows how you get to work, what time you go to lunch, what time you get home, and what you have planned for tomorrow. In short; you’re now primed for stalking.  Please believe she will conveniently be in the area of… your job at lunchtime… your house when you get home from work … your favorite bar or place you hang out with the fellas.  You get what I’m saying.  She will soon get tired of coming up with zero when trying to ‘run into you by accident’.

6.  Don’t fall for the ‘friends with benefits’ proposal.
Any babe who was in a relationship with you, will not accept the fact that she has been demoted.  Her modus operand will always be to get you back in the relationship.

Avoid the looney bin and the straitjacket.
I could go on and on with these tips; from personal experience and friends of mine… but I won’t.   If you’re in a relationship defined by a woman’s psychotic behavior, it’s probably time to end that relationship. If you’re unsure whether or not your woman actually fits the definition of psychotic, the fact that you’re even wondering is an indication of something being wrong.

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